This week I'm going to do
something a little bit unusual... First I'm going
to ask you to consider something, then I'm going
to give you a little bit of homework. This week
is all about ACTION!
Here's the thing I want you
to consider first: I was reading an article on
AOL titled "What's Wrong With Nice Guys?".
Here's a little quote from the article: "...Do
Women Date Naughty Guys but Marry Nice Ones?
This notion sounds an awful
lot like the irritating good-girl/bad-girl
distinction that men continue to make. Still, it
does contain a nugget of sense. Since women truly
are conditioned to be "good girls,"
sometimes we feel uncomfortable with or guilty
about that pure burning "I must have him!"
feeling.
That's why we sometimes
seek out a bad boy to serve as the object of
these desires, says Cleveland psychotherapist
Belleruth Naparstek, creator of the Health
Journeys series of guided imagery tapes. "In
order for the deliciousness of pure lust to be
'okay,' it has to be for the symbolic bad boy who
has nothing to do with the rest of your life.
With him, you can crank up your animal impulses,
worry-free," she says...." Interesting,
isn't it?
Now, I personally disagree
with the idea that women "seek out" Bad
Boys because they need somewhere to project their
guilty lust... and I disagree with the idea that
there's something "wrong" with the fact
that women are attracted to Bad Boys...
But the point is that the
"mainstream" psychology and behavior
world is starting to accept the idea that women
are ATTRACTED to "Bad Boys". It will
probably be another ten years before anyone with
a degree puts two and two together and says
"Hey, maybe women feel ATTRACTION for Bad
Boys for natural, evolutionary reasons, and
that's why Bad Boys are considered "sexy"..."
Hell, maybe I should say it... Oh wait, I already
did...
Whatever. Point is, there's
something to the idea that woman don't feel that
powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for "nice"
guys who chase after them and kiss up to them.
Women do, on the other hand, feel that magical
emotion called ATTRACTION for BAD BOYS. Of
course, I don't believe that you MUST be a jerk,
or abuse women in order to make them feel
attracted to you.
There's a much better way...
Now, I want you to do
something CONSCIOUSLY this week. I want you to do
the following with the next 5 women that you talk
to over the next few days... (these should be
women that you would be interested in dating):
1) Smile all the time.
2) Be very nice, cordial, and friendly. Use no
sarcasm, and don't tease.
3) Act as if you really "like" the
woman you're talking to... and as if you're
"interested" in her.
4) Give her lots of compliments.
5) Optional: Politely say "You probably have
a boyfriend, right? Can I take you out sometime?"
Pay careful attention, and
notice how the women respond to you.
Now, I want you to try
something different with the NEXT 5 women you
talk to...
1) Don't smile very often.
2) Pretend that you've known her for 20 years,
and that you're TOO comfortable around her. Tease
her for something that no one teases her about...
like the way she dresses, etc.
3) Pretend that she's interested in YOU, and has
been pursuing YOU, and that you're resisting her.
Make jokes about it and say things like "I
just don't think things are going to work out
between us".
4) Give her NO compliments of any kind. If she
gives you any, say "That's a cheesy pick up
line. Can't you think of something more original?"
5) Optional: Say "Hey, do you have email?
Good. Write it down here..." ...and pay
attention to the difference.
If you really "play it
up", you'll notice a HUGE difference between
the first five women you talk to and the next
five.
During the first set of
five, when you're being a "Nice Wuss",
you'll see the looks on the women's faces that
say "Oh, no. Another guy who "likes"
me. How can I get rid of him politely?..."
During the SECOND set of
five, you'll see the women opening their mouths
with the "half smile, half oh-no- you-didn't-just-say-that
look". You'll feel a TENSION in the air.
You'll notice that some of the women will
actually look at you as if they can't believe
what they're hearing.
If you're particularly
sharp and funny, you might just have one or two
of them say "I like you... we have to hang
out sometime" within the first few minutes
of the conversation. You will NEVER hear that
when you're playing the "Nice Wuss", by
the way. (SIDE NOTE: I went out with some friends
once, and I was taking pictures of some of my
friends... when I overheard this girl talking to
her friend. I took what she and her friend were
talking about, and I teased her about it... and
within no more than 60 seconds the girl was
saying "Ohmygod, I like you! We need to hang
out sometime...". Really.)
Do your homework! And have
FUN while you're at it.
