TIPS MAILBAG: What Women Want In A Man
What do women want in a man is
a big question.
I just bought the
advanced CD series & it's amazing what
a difference they make over the book. Being
able to listen on the way to work, whilst
out doing chores, etc. is cool. I can feel
the confidence building inside me, it's like my
own personal coach.
The C&F doesn't
come naturally to me at present so I've taken
your advice and am using the internet as a 'woman
simulator' in order to practice. I've had
mixed results so far, I think a few took
the teasing the wrong way as some of them
would suddenly stop replying.
I must be
better at the C&F than I thought though. The
first time I went on this site I was
chatting to a few girls and one of them
ended up giving me her mobile and asking if
we could go for coffee before I had chance
to. Anyway my question: You suggest
that a date should simply be 'tea &
stimulating conversation', which for all of the
reasons you give makes perfect sense to me.
But once I've done the tea &
conversation with this girl, do you have any
suggestions for other dates where I can
come across as the 'lover' instead of the
'provider'. The only one where I wouldn't
end up having to shell out (buy her stuff) that I
can think of is a walk along the river or
something, but that's rather dependant on
Thanks for changing
AIB - London UK
Yea, well you're
welcome for the "changing your life"
thing. Glad to help.
Now, you're kind of
mixing up a couple of concepts that I never
intended to "depend" on one another...
If you want to know
where to take a woman for dates, that shouldn't
be confused with whether or not you come across
as a "lover" personality, and not a
"provider" personality to her.
Let me ask you
something... what is a "date"?
What do you think
that the purpose of a "date" is?
Now, I call my
material "Double Your Dating", but what
I DON'T mean is "take women out to dinner
twice as much as you used to".
The word "Dating"
is simply a word that all of us guys understand
to mean "romantic interactions with women".
So I use it.
But if you want to
have more romantic interactions with women, that
does NOT mean that you need to "take women
out on dates" in order to do it.
Are you with me?
I mean, what do
couples do a year after they get together...?
They stay home most
of the time, do normal things like go shopping,
and generally behave like they did before they
This whole "going
out to dinner" ritual is really an amazing
concept. It's awesome how powerful it is...
and how guys really believe that they need to do
it (or similar things) in order to get a woman's
attention in a romantic way.
Here's the bottom
If you want a woman
to think of you as a "lover", then BE
If you want her to
think of you as a provider, then just BE ONE.
What you haven't
quite realized fully yet is that when you know
how to trigger ATTRACTION in a woman, all the
"normal" rules go away.
If a woman feels
that powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you, then
she'll do ANYTHING with you... just to be in your
presence and have your attention.
If you have dialed
up the ATTRACTION, then all you need to say is
"come over here".
No dates required.
Now, if you buy her
dinner 10 times, call her 3 times a day, and
chase her around, then it will be EXPECTED that
you continue this pattern... and provide for her.
NOTE: If you're
buying a woman dinner twice a week, giving her
flowers, calling her every day, and basically
"chasing" her, then you can be about 80%
sure that there's another guy in the picture...
but guess what? He's the one who SHE calls, and
he's the one who says "Come over later, I'm
busy now"... no dates required.
If you want to be a
LOVER to a woman, then DO IT.
You don't need to
wait until the third time out for coffee or tea.
You'll learn that
ATTRACTION doesn't have a timeline.
It happens VERY
QUICKLY, if you know how to trigger it... and you
don't need a lot of "date ideas" once
And now that I've
avoided your question for a page or two, let me
answer with this:
I often take women
to do "regular" things with me. I'll
take them to the grocery store to shop with me,
out to the mall to pick things up, and down to
the bookstore to buy a book.
First, start BEING
the LOVER immediately.
Then, notice how
women DON'T CARE what you do together, as long as
she's with you.
Just wanted to say
that after reading your material, I experienced
a mental shift. I now see situations in terms of:
was I self-referenced (C & F Man) or
externally referenced (wussie boy)? It is
now very clear that success in anything comes
to leaders not followers and women hate dealing
with followers. For example look at little
boys dealing with little girls when they
are playing together. They boss them around,
make them play by their rules and those girls
grow up expecting men to lead them. Just
watch any John Garfield or Lee Marvin movie.
Leaders get the girl, wussies get to be used
and discarded. I've made my choice.
E from Chi
Good. Now help me
get the word out to the other 3 billion guys on
You're right. Women
don't like men who are FOLLOWERS.
ATTRACTED to men who are FOLLOWERS.
what? Most men FOLLOW anyway.
reminding us that we need to LEAD. Leading
creates ATTRACTION. Following creates the curious
definitely have to give it to you. You are "da
shizznitt", lol. Your DYD dvd series
has really changed my entire life. I now
feel like I am in control of "My World".
I was a little hesitant about buying your
product... but I just said "What the
Hell...What can I loose???" I am
military and in my spare time I am a
bartender. You know what that means...
I see females out the izzass, lol. I
was working one night and a female came up
to one of my fellow bartenders to order something
and while getting her drink... she asked told
him... " all these guys are staring at
me. Do you think i'm cute?" Now
normally if I were in his shoes and hadn't
learned what you taught me... I would have
melted and told her that she was the finest
thing to step foot on this base... case in
point...that was what he said. He just bent down
unzipped his pants and practically handed
her his nuts. Hence, her hands being the
nutcracker. I interrupted them while he was
"dazed and confused" and
told her "Actually they're looking at
that big pimple on your forehead. She
stopped and turned towards me and laughed
and hit me on the arm. Then I told her
not to get mad cuz I was cuter than she.
She smiled and for some odd reason... she
could not keep herself away from the bar.
I just pretended that she was one of my friends
that I tease all the time and just called
her on everything that she did. Man...
I couldn't believe that she was really eating
this up!!! The other bartender that she was
talking to first, couldn't believe that I
was doing this!!! He.... for some odd
reason didn't GET what was going on... It was
like jets flying over his head. And
to show that his nuts belonged to her... he
just kept trying to compliment her. She
just glanced at him smiled and quickly turned her
head to pay him no mind. I got her e-mail
and number and she has been like putty in
my hands for the past three months. I
have to give it to you, Dave. You da man!!!
I'm not a selfish person...so I gave him
your e-mail address and hopefully he'll get
your system and realize what he's been doing
wrong. I should give him her e-mail address
so that he can ask for his balls back, lol.
But... for those who have doubts about
Dave's system... I'm living proof of success.
JR - Mexico
OK, first of all, I
think that you must have some kind of bizarre NUT
And it's not right.
fortunately you're on the right side of the
"don't hand them over" equation, so
everything seems like it might be all right for
You've given some
great examples of how to get an attractive
woman's attention, tease her, and play with her
to "spark" that initial sexual tension
Now make sure you
keep it up so you're not writing me in 3 more
months with the "She used the Trojan Horse
De-Nutting Technique" on me.
What has happened to women's
standards? All the beautiful babes with no
neck dorks! I am a good looking guy and I can't
even get a phone number. They go out with guys
that weigh like 300 lbs and dress like
slobs. I wear nice clothes and drive a nice
car and I can't get a single date. Maybe it
is where I live. In order to get a date I
will have to gain 200 lbs and have someone
break my nose so I am ugly enough for some
girl to date me. American girls suck! They have
no taste anymore!
No, I think that
the problem is that you whine like a whipped
Women can smell a
"victim" attitude 100 miles away, and
it IS NOT ATTRACTIVE.
are just fine.
The problem isn't
them, it's YOU.
Now do yourself a
favor and quit ACTING like a little girl, and DO
SOMETHING about your situation.
What, do you think
that all the average and ugly guys out there who
have HOT girlfriends are getting them by being
The answer is
"No, they're not".
These guys are
getting the babes because they know how to make
the women feel ATTRACTION.
Trust me, I know
quite a few guys who are NOT exactly the picture
of "handsome"... but these guys get a
lot of women.
Because they KNOW
Now quit whining,
and go LEARN.
Dear Dr. D, Just
wanted to drop you a quick note. I am a 34 year
old and divorced using your E-book to learn
how to get back into the game. Since I was
raised by my parents to be a nice guy, submissive,
wussy, it has been a challenge to overcome these
self-destructive traits---but I am gaining
ground every day. Also, I don't have any
natural ability for C&F. For the most part
I am quiet and reserved----so I have needed to re-train
myself in that area also. You have given me
a good start by explaining attraction and
what women want.
I want to
stress the importance of "practice".
It's the only way to quickly improve your
inner and outer game. What has helped
me is practicing on an old girlfriend. I am sure
many of your students like me have a woman
that just won't let you go from an old
relationship. So, I have not completely
ended it for sex and companionship and she keeps
me around for sex and emotional support.
amazing weekend: Saturday, I went out with the
old girlfriend and busted on her and challenged
her on many issues all night. My old self
would have shut up and zoned out---not this
time. I didn't put up with any of her nonsense.
It ended at my place and we had an amazing double
session. She is now hooked more than ever
even though she knows I am seeing other
people. She can't help herself. I have
triggered the attraction mechanism and more
importantly I know what I did to accomplish
that. Sunday I spent the day with a cute
girl who had responded to my internet ad.
We had only been out once before. I played the
game---didn't act overly sexually interested,
just enough....I used the C&F when I
could, but basically kept cool. She
offered to pay our lunch/cocktail bill. My old
self would have foolishly denied her offer---thinking
I was the man, thinking I was being
chivalrous (how foolish ;). This time I
accepted without hesitation. Once back at my
place I used the start and stop technique.
I would get her hot, then I would back off.
She would stop my hand from reaching too
far so I decided that I wasn't going to push it
and that tonight might not be "the
night" with her so I was very relaxed.
At 10:00 she was getting ready to leave. We
started making out while saying goodbye----next
thing I know , we were in the bedroom. It
was amazing. The fun lasted all night.
Today I am tired with a smile on my face. I know
it worked out because I put the proper
groundwork in place. By turning my sexual
advances on and then off-----it really got to
her. Acting as if I was evaluating her...the
whole thing. Thank you for pointing me in
the right direction, I am starting to get
it!!! Literally ;)
Fort Lauderdale, Fl
Yea, you really are
starting to GET IT.
And you are RIGHT
This stuff takes
practice and real-world experience using it
before you really "get it".
Too many guys are
just too damned overly-analytical, and want to
know how to do EVERYTHING before they do ANYTHING.
I used to be this
way... and it cost me a lot of time and energy.
It's so amazing to
actually get out there and SEE results right in
front of your eyes. It gets you excited and
willing to try more things... and it prepares you
for the future... for situations that are REALLY
Get out there and
use this stuff.
What does it mean
when a woman says she wants to "work
on herself" before she can have a
translation for this is:
"I DON'T FEEL
ATTRACTION FOR YOU, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL
YOU WITHOUT HURTING YOUR LITTLE WUSSY BOY GIRLIE
Any of the
"I need time
alone right now."
to find me first."
"Let's just be
friends for now."
"I DON'T FEEL
That's the bottom
The problem is YOU,
Don't be surprised
if this same girl either IS or STARTS dating
another guy seriously soon.
If you're hearing
this kind of thing often, then you need to take
it as a sign that you're not triggering
ATTRACTION inside of women... and, more
importantly, that you need to LEARN HOW.
my Advanced Dating Techniques Program.
help eliminate these types of comments from women
once and for all.
Here, let me brag
for a minute...
I'm sitting here
thinking about it, and I can't remember a woman
saying one of these things to me in YEARS.
You are the man! I
have been getting your emails for about 8 months
now I belive and have read your book! Just
yesterday I was in the store looking at
CD's and I noticed these two beautiful
girls walking around and they would constantly
look over towards me. As I wandered around
the store more I noticed that they seemed
to always show up wherever I was. So I
stopped them and asked the girl that I was more
attracted to "Excuse me but i'm going
to have to ask you to stop stalking me."
She looked at her friend like 'What is this
boy talking about' and then she asked me for my
name. I immediately answered "Do you
really think i'm just going to give my name
out to a stalker?" once again she looked
like she couldn't believe I was talking to
her this way. We talked about five more
minutes and then I told her I had to go.
She asked me if I wanted her number so we could
continue the conversation. I pretended to
think about it and then told her "I'm
sorry but I'm just going to be way too busy to
find time to call you. So If you promise to
stop stalking me i'll give you my number
and you can try and catch me when I have a
few minutes of free time to talk." She
eagerly took my number and when I got home
about an hour later she had already left a
message on my machine to see if I could go out
with her this weekend!
I was so happy
because I was curious too see if I reversed
the three minute phone number to give away
my number instead of getting hers would
work and it did! Anyway on to my question.
As I stated this girl was with a friend at the
store who was also very attractive and was
there the whole time I was hitting up her
friend. Is there anyway in these situations
where you can get both girls numbers?
I say things like
this to women all the time, and they generally
To answer your
question, YES, there's an easy way to get both
girls' phone numbers.
Then call and ask
them BOTH to come join you for a cup of tea.
Kill two birds with
Then, over tea you
can decide which one you like more.
I've had friends
who have been in similar situations report back
that sometimes both women will like you... and
EACH OTHER as well.
I mean, what do you
have to lose? 2 minutes of getting a phone
Look, your question
was based in fear.
Fear that you'd
offend one or both of the women, and then lose
The fact is that
you never HAD anything.
A phone number is
easy to get. If you feel like asking both women
for their numbers, do it. If you feel like asking
them both to join you for tea, do it.
You get to make the
I received your DVD
series about a month ago and have watched
it in its entirety a few times. I've
noticed a strange circumstance since then,
similar to what Napoleon Hill says about
how when you choose a definite major purpose
in life, ways and means of attaining that
purpose seem to magically appear to you.
When I've been in situations where I wasn't
actually interacting with a woman and laying on
the C&F, they've still been acting
attracted to me despite the fact that I
consciously did NOTHING in these situations. For
- A bar/restaurant
I hit about once a week has a very hot waitress
staff, and one in particular is a Pam Anderson
clone who's always being stared at and
complimented by all the wussy guys.
She's been working at least a dozen times that
I've been in there but has never acted like she
even noticed me until the last time (since
I've watched the DVDs) and she kept looking
at me, over and over again, despite the fact
that I did NOTHING different. Finally I
gave her the "wrinkled brow"
suspicious look and she got all self-conscious,
said "what?" and I came right back with
"if you're gonna be that forward and
flirty with me you could've at least done
your hair up a little better" and then it
- I met some
friends for happy hour and a very hot chick was
sitting at a table holding some guy's hand.
Every other guy in the place was staring at
her and she was so hot that I even
overheard some of the waitresses trashing her.
The thing is, I had been watching the DVDs
that same day and came walking in with a
particularly cocky swagger and the wrinkled
brow and she stared me down the whole way in.
Then she would not stop looking over at me
while she was holding this dude's hand, he
was obviously a Wussy since he saw what was
going on and did nothing (I guess he's the guy
she uses for free dinners while she's
banging the real men). At one point
she even took the long way to the bathroom to
walk by me and flirt but with the Wussy
watching there was no op to get the info...
hopefully I run into her again.
It's obvious that
just watching the DVD series gives one an aura
of confidence, since I did nothing in these
situations but show up. Kinda like
reading Comedy Writing Secrets then suddenly
being funnier without actually thinking about it
and trying. Simply watching and
learning this material opens doors for you
Ah, you're tapping
into the power of the mind here.
One of the BIG
benefits of learning all of the material that I
teach in my programs is the changes that
naturally occur inside your mind.
Once you see things
differently, you begin to BEHAVE differently as
well. And it will happen automatically.
Now, I don't mean
to sound new-agey here, but this is the reality
of the situation.
Women can pick up
on subtle body language that most men don't even
When you start
"mentally rehearsing" some of the
things you learn from my programs, you will
automatically act differently when you're in
future situations with women.
Great job, and keep
And make sure you
send in some future Success Stories, as I'm sure
you're going to have many.
Blah blah blah, I
shamelessly compliment you, you feel like a
deity... there we're done.
Your book would be
worth it's weight in gold, even if it were
made of lead! I stumbled onto your site by
accident. A month before, I was Let's Just
BeFriended for being "too nice",
and this was with an UGLY thing too! eh... I was
desperate. I actually laughed at those
"losers" for getting slapped on
the arm and called a**hole, and later, I thought
the chicks were idiots for dating them!!
I'm better now. After reading your book it
was like the heavens were parted and g*d
HIMself bitch slapped the wuss right out of me!
Not only am I
getting slapped, bitten, chewed on, and fought
over, I am LOVING it too! Just the other
day I was in a bookstore, and an old friend
(read "hot chick") of mine came in,
I thought, 'hey I am here just being my new self,
lets try something', so I walked over to
her, said hi, and then said "I didn't
expect to see a beautiful young woman here"
she said "aww that's so sweet" (read
"you wussy") but then I did
something that has been working really well for
me, I busted on her. I said "maybe I
still will" Slap on arm, AND big smile.
She was wearing this rather large skirt with
ruffles, so I said "wow... I didn't
know the parachute look was still in"
while obviously staring at it. Another slap on
arm, this time laughing. Later she asked if
I got my hair cut (I hadn't) she said it
"whatever it is, its really attractive."
There is this coffee shop in the store, so we
had "stimulating conversation" a
little while went by, and she asked me to
go to her car with her, so she could "show
me a new piece of art." well needless
to say, we are still "appreciating art"
together, and its been two months!
So the question is...
Will complimenting the ladies then busting
on whatever I just complimented work the same as
if not complimenting at all?
Ah, one of my
Giving a woman a
compliment, then putting a backhanded twist on it.
shoes are cute. Did you buy them new?"
"Your hair is
pretty. Did your mom do it for you?"
"Nice car. If
Pick up any modern
men's magazine and you'll get a bunch of good
ideas for this type of thing.
Cocky & Funny
can be very powerful once you learn how to use it.
Great example, and thank you.
Hey Dave, I
have been reading your emails and have purchased
your ebook and have read and studied from
both. I would 'study' areas I felt I
was weak in or would that be wussy in, to improve,
naturally, but would read everything for as much
knowledge as I could absorb. Well, I
have a success story but with a slight
twist to it. The twist is my success was
due to playing off of 2 other guys'
I went to a club in
a part of town I normally do not go to.
Not that it is a bad part of town I just
never thought of going there. I went
by myself, so on my own, no one for moral
support, in a place I have never been before.
Talk about giving your ideas the acid test,
this was going to be it. I was
looking down at the dance floor getting into the
music and noticed behind me two girls
sitting at a table. I then noticed 2 guys
approach and one started to talk to one of
the girls. The other guy was just standing
there looking at girl #2 trying to get up
the nerve to say something, from what I
could tell, since I was that way myself in a not
so distant past. I just turned away
and didn't pay much attention but after 10
mins or so the same guy talking to girl #1
is not making any headway. Guy 2 still had his
wuss game going so no change there. I
decided to ask girl # 2 to dance but wanted
to get her attention and interest, as well.
So I leaned over and said, "While that
guy is trying to hustle your friend, whom,
I might he is not doing very well, would
you like to dance?" Well, this girl
just cracked up laughing, she did not want
to dance but did want to talk more.
She went on to say that there is nothing he could
say or do at this point to make her want to
dance or go out with him. He just
doesn't get it, she said. I went on to say
I know it is crowded and a bit loud here
but one should understand NO easy enough.
She agreed and went on to mention how much
of a loser his friend is just standing there.
I then remembered a statement someone used in an
email of yours and thought I would use it
myself. I said to girl #2 "what's
that smell, do you smell that?" She replies,
"What smell?" I said,
"The smell of desperation." Well,
Dave, that girl laughed so hard she fell
out of her chair. I helped her up and when
she told me she had to tell her girl friend
that and when she leaned over to talk to her I
just turned away and went back to looking
at the people dancing.
After a bit this
girl came up to me and said look at those losers
they are just standing on the dance floor while
people are dancing around them. They did
look pretty pathetic. We talked a bit and I
asked her name but I did not quite
understand it since she was Latin and had a Latin
name I could not make out what she said,
what with all the loud music and noise.
Just then some friends of hers and her girl
friend's came in and she started to talk to
them so again I just turned away and
watched people on the dance floor. After
a bit she came back and grabbed my arm and said
come on I want to introduce you to my
friends. After she introduces everyone to
me I turn to her and ask what was your name
again? Is it ludicrous? She just busted up
laughing again and tried to tell me her
name again. By now, she is holding my
hand and we started dancing right there.
We talked a bit and I told her she has to
write her name down so I can pronounce
correctly when I call her. She say's,
"Call me?" I said, "Yes,
since you are writing your name down you
might as well give me your number. How else
am I going to call you? Oh, and if
you have email you might as well give me
She said, that it
was cool meeting me and gave me a hug and kiss.
She then went back to her friends and I just
turned away and called it a night.
It may not have
been nice to use the 2 guys wuss behavior to
my advantage but it worked.
N from Miami Beach
LOL... so you went
off secretly to a bar alone... hoping that no one
would see you testing the materials out for
Yea, sometimes it's
rough when other guys act like Wussy Jackasses...
But hey, it makes
your life easier and more fun!
So what the hell,
I have to say, one
of my personal favorite things to do with women
I've just met is make fun of how other guys are
fun in these bar-type situations, where you can
watch one interaction after another.
Most guys suck at
approaching women, and it makes for great humor
Of course, talking
about how terrible other guys are INSTANTLY
separates you from the herd, and kind of puts you
in the "NON-WUSS" category all by
favorite of mine is to tell a girl that she
should get together with one of the guys that is
acting like a jackass.
"I think you
and that Wuss-Boy over there would make a cute
couple. He looks like he needs a mom like you to
tell him what to do..." etc.
You've done a great
job here, now keep it up.
And thanks for the
great example. Always remember in these
situations that a big scoop of COCKY & FUNNY
will make things go well.
In this Mailbag
you've heard from a lot of guys who are using my
eBook "Double Your Dating" to improve
their success with women and dating. It comes
with three additional free bonus booklets, and
it's a complete introduction to my principles and
techniques. Of course, it also comes with a 100%
guarantee. Go download your copy here... you can
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DeAngelo is the author of "Double
Your Dating - What Every Man Should Know
About How To Be Successful With Women",
and has taught thousands of men how to be more
successful with women and dating.
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